How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Sharky]

Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently touch my finger tips

Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there

Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries

Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet

The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out

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[Trigganometry]

Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently touch my finger tips

Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there

Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries

Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet

The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out

???

 

[P. A. Schilke]

 

[Colo_Ranger]

No... Fat cops are more likely to shoot you than chase you.

 

[AzScorpion]

 

[FX4Offroad]

View attachment 86829

Uncle O'Riley? Is that really you?

 

[Motorpsychology]

A WOMAN WALKS INTO THE DOWNTOWN WELFARE OFFICE, TRAILED BY 15 KIDS.
'WOW,' THE SOCIAL WORKER EXCLAIMS, 'ARE THEY ALL YOURS?’
'YEP, THEY'RE ALL MINE, ' THE FLUSTERED MOMMA SIGHS, HAVING HEARD THAT QUESTION A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE. SHE SAYS, 'SIT DOWN, TERRY.' ALL THE CHILDREN RUSH TO FIND SEATS.
'WELL,' SAYS THE SOCIAL WORKER, 'THEN YOU MUST BE HERE TO SIGN UP. I'LL NEED ALL YOUR CHILDREN'S NAMES.’
”WELL, TO KEEP IT SIMPLE, THE BOYS ARE ALL NAMED TERRY AND THE GIRLS ARE ALL NAMED TERRI.”
IN DISBELIEF, THE CASE WORKER SAYS, 'ARE YOU SERIOUS? THEY'RE ALL NAMED TERRY?’
THEIR MOMMA REPLIED, 'WELL, YES- IT MAKES IT EASIER. WHEN IT'S TIME TO GET THEM OUT OF BED AND READY FOR SCHOOL , I YELL, TERRY! AND WHEN IT'S TIME FOR DINNER, I JUST YELL TERRY! AND THEY ALL COME A RUNNING. IF I NEED TO STOP THE KID WHO'S RUNNING INTO THE STREET, I JUST YELL TERRY AND ALL OF THEM STOP. IT'S THE SMARTEST IDEA I EVER HAD, NAMING THEM ALL TERRY.’
THE SOCIAL WORKER THINKS THIS OVER FOR A BIT, THEN WRINKLES HER FOREHEAD AND SAYS TENTATIVELY, 'BUT WHAT IF YOU JUST WANT ONE KID TO COME, AND NOT THE WHOLE BUNCH? ‘

'THEN I CALL THEM BY THEIR LAST NAMES.'

 

[bearrug]

 

[P. A. Schilke]

 

[GregM]

The Wife

 

[Sharky]

Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.
They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his physical condition, challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race back to their truck.

As they approached the truck, they realized that the woman from the last house they checked was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I saw two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run, too!"

 

[AzScorpion]

When you try to show off in front of your girlfriend.

 

[Trigganometry]

Somethings need no explainin ?

 

[Nellieg]

Don't worry I had no clue either. According to this there's no B or C either.

https://www.quora.com/How-many-times-does-the-letter-‘a’-appear-from-0-100

The written as words is extremely important. Its not 101. What's the first number as expressed as a number (not words) that has an a? (one hundred and one is a math problem not a number- and isnt part of the number here) it's a word- i go with the word with 228 0's behind it-

 

[Doc]

The written as words is extremely important. Its not 101. What's the first number as expressed as a number (not words) that has an a? (one hundred and one is a math problem not a number- and isnt part of the number here) it's a word- i go with the word with 228 0's behind it-

Aardvark ...Numbah Ten ...
Anticractillion ...

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