How to avoid a divorce?

[BS67]

Yes! I got the same speech 30 years ago!
She's the responsible one in this relationship though. Fwiw... 30 years in, and I have a killer credit score.

Same here with the credit score....900+ and yes, she's the responsible one here too. Just last night she told me to 'grow up'. Told her I have to get old but I don't have to grow up!

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[Brett Fields]

My solution to feeding my habbit was to take my wife off roading. She really knows what stuff is for.

This winter has been snow free, but one morning last year, she sent me off to work in a snow storm, handed me my yeti mug with coffee, and the parting words.... "Don't forget your traction boards!"

I love that woman!

 

[OFC Ranger]

My solution to feeding my habbit was to take my wife off roading. She really knows what stuff is for.

This winter has been snow free, but one morning last year, she sent me off to work in a snow storm, handed me my yeti mug with coffee, and the parting words.... "Don't forget your traction boards!"

I love that woman!

Yup ever since we started taking road trips she has a better understanding. That and she finally understood my constant drive to tinker and fabricate was no different than her urge to binge watch whatever cooking show was currently popular.

My mates biggest problem from my view is she has no hobbies in the classical sense. Tending to our daughters needs (travel softball for example), going to church, or watching TV was what she did when we were not doing something together. Numerous arguments that began with "our daughter is a responsibility, not a hobby". Don't get the wrong idea, bonding is important, but when your identity is not one of your own, but merely being the servant of a child, ugh would drive me nuts. She is not a helicopter mom, just created a butler persona for herself.

Nothing creative. She basically has no imagination. Like if you hand her a piece of paper and asked to write a simple one page fictional story she couldn't do it to save her own life. I had to come to terms with this and remind myself I accepted this before I need to accept it moving forward. I will always have a subliminal urge to want a mate that shares my creative itch, but I am not going to forgo all the other good qualities just because she can't meet that one.

She basically viewed my past times the same way, she couldn't grasp it. Once we both said, "haha ok you do you and I'll do me" things got vastly better. That and we make it a point to hop in the ol' Ranger and hit the road, just the two of us and the open road.

 

[GTGallop]

Is there any home where it’s always open discussion about how much money and on what purpose exactly you really spend on your Ranger? And you can do with your Ranger whatever you like?
Maybe I have missed useful tips thread “how to explain why I need something to my truck and when it’s done, I need something more”?

SAFETY!
All of my upgrades are for SAFETY.

Seems to be the thing that works.

 

[got3fords]

?I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you're single??

Nope, happily married! Although my "shut the hell up"s are probably balanced out by her "f'n loser"s.

 

[got3fords]

Ok, just ordered a Livernois tuner. She won't know unless she sees the box, in which case I'll her to shut the hell up, or the next time she is riding with me and I go to pass someone.

 

[OFC Ranger]

Nope, happily married! Although my "shut the hell up"s are probably balanced out by her "f'n loser"s.

I can related.

"You are being an asshole"

"Well you are being a douche canoe"

Awkward pause.

Then sex.

 

[Brett Fields]

Nope, happily married! Although my "shut the hell up"s are probably balanced out by her "f'n loser"s.

There's nothing like a healthy, balanced, emotionally fulfilling relationship.

 

[Jason B]

The phrase 'It's better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission' comes to mind.

 

[Kristina]

Truth! Wifey has about 300 pairs of shoes. All our extra closets are full of her clothes. I have one closet to myself, and it's not a big one. I don't even think we can have guests stay over any more, because they wouldn't have any place to put stuff.

If my husband would have same amount of shoes, this thread wouldn’t be here. I’d be divorced.

 

[Trigganometry]

?I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess you're single??

 

[Trigganometry]

Oddly enough there are some relationships out there that flourish like its still like the 1950's. It is probably a mixture of ones that are healthy and mutual in this arrangement and ones that are run by an abusive "know your role" control freak husbands.

My divorce did not revolve around monetary problems, but we have gotten back together since. The honest truth the divorce was the best thing that happened to our relationship after 15 years. Our bond is much stronger now.

Everyone has a plan (marriage) till they get punched in the face (divorce). Then you improvise and grow. Either the person acknowledges their own short comings and seeks repair, or they move on looking for the next mate while subliminally looking for someone else to put up with their shit and hopefully not leave them.

When you finally learn a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you... You learn Grace.

 

[OFC Ranger]

When you finally learn a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than it ever did with you... You learn Grace.

Equal fault for us both.

10 months a part put things in perspective. Like a giant adult time out for us both.

That first time meeting back up for a "date" was like a movie cliche of two people running across a beach in slow motion to each other. Cept I'd be the fat guy version when a comedy movie parodies this.

 

[Rhino]

I can related.

"You are being an asshole"

"Well you are being a douche canoe"

Awkward pause.

Then sex.

thats funny haha

 

[CO2Ranger]

This thread is awesome. I get an eye roll and then I'm in the clear. Unless I start missing mortgage payments or anniversaries I think I'm golden!

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