How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Figarou]

Figarou...King of the Dad Jokes

How do you organize a space party?
You planet.

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.

Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurized before you can even see it.

?

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[Figarou]

2019 and 2020 got into a fight.

2021

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Michigan and Ohio got into a fight over Toledo....Ohio lost...

best,
Phil

 

[Figarou]

Michigan and Ohio got into a fight over Toledo....Ohio lost...

best,
Phil

Interesting.

https://www.history.com/news/the-toledo-war-when-michigan-and-ohio-nearly-came-to-blows

 

[Figarou]

Cats

 

[Figarou]

 

[9zero1790]

19 an hour is cheaper than molly maids. i wonder if she comes with lemon pledge and a mop...

 

[AzScorpion]

19 an hour is cheaper than molly maids. i wonder if she comes with lemon pledge and a mop...

I think I'd have to use it on her first though.

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Interesting.

https://www.history.com/news/the-toledo-war-when-michigan-and-ohio-nearly-came-to-blows

Hi Figarou,

Yep...a University of Michigan Vs Ohio State University joke... My Masters was from UofM, but the snobbery of UofM grads appalled me to the point that I will wear Tee Shirts and Sweatshirts of my under grad degree, University of Central Florida but will not have anything to do with UofM....

Best,
Phil

 

[Langwilliams]

Hi Figarou,

Yep...a University of Michigan Vs Ohio State University joke... My Masters was from UofM, but the snobbery of UofM grads appalled me to the point that I will wear Tee Shirts and Sweatshirts of my under grad degree, University of Central Florida but will not have anything to do with UofM....

Best,
Phil

When my twins graduated from U of Toledo one moved to Michigan for a job at a major seat supplier for the auto industry. I drove him up an when we got close to Ann Arbor it just smelled like bad football.

 

[Figarou]

Hi Figarou,

Yep...a University of Michigan Vs Ohio State University joke... My Masters was from UofM, but the snobbery of UofM grads appalled me to the point that I will wear Tee Shirts and Sweatshirts of my under grad degree, University of Central Florida but will not have anything to do with UofM....

Best,
Phil

Oh....ok

I wasn't sure which one you was referring to. That's why I added the link to "The Toledo war." Lots of history in that part of the country.

 

[Jason B]

An elderly woman was walking home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day. When she saw Nathan Hale’s Used Cars, she decided to stop and look at cars. As it happened, the owner himself approached her. He asked her what kind of car she wanted.

“Well,” she said, “I can’t remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger.” The owner was quick to reply, “Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a few. What color would you like?”

The woman reached into her shopping bag and pulled out an ear of corn. She striped down the shucks and said, “I want this color.” Nathan replied, “Ma’am I’m sorry, but we don’t have any in that color. How about a nice blue one?” “No son,” she said, “I want this color.”

“But ma’am, they didn’t make that color! Maybe a cherry red one?” By this time, the old woman was mad and started throwing things at the owner. Other salesmen noticed the disruption and asked the secretary what was going on. The secretary replied, “Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman’s corn!”

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Megawatt]

Just got a text for fathers day…..


Your here because your dads not queer.

 

[Figarou]

Wait for it. ?

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