Chuck Norris, Action Icon and ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ Star, Dies at 86

[Doc]

Chuck Norris didn't join the Air Force....the Air Force joined Chuck Norris.

He was in the Air Force and stationed in Saigon.
Tan Son Nhut Airbase .

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[LaBalbe]

This came across my feed this morning, although it was dated a day old:

BREAKING: The concept of mortality has officially been discontinued after Chuck Norris “passed away” yesterday at 86.

Witnesses say it wasn’t so much that Chuck Norris died…it’s that reality finally gave up trying to contain him.

At an unknown moment, Time itself stopped, shook his hand, and retired.

Doctors confirmed there was nothing they could do...not because of his condition, but because Chuck Norris already cured everything in 1997 and just allowed illness to exist for character development.

Chuck Norris didn’t have a heartbeat. His heart was too afraid to stop.

He once threw a grenade and killed 12 people. Then it exploded.
He built the hospital he was born in.
He doesn’t flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it.
When he looks in the mirror, the mirror moves out of the way.

NASA has issued a statement confirming that Earth is now drifting slightly off orbit, as Chuck Norris was the only thing keeping it in place by standing on it.

All martial arts have been downgraded to “partial arts.”
Roundhouse kicks are now considered a lost language.

Death attempted to collect Chuck Norris earlier today, but after a brief conversation, Death has been reported missing.

To be clear: Chuck Norris did not die.

He simply roundhouse-kicked his way out of existence and is currently patrolling a higher dimension that asked very politely for his protection.

If you listen closely tonight, you may hear thunder.

That’s not a storm.
That’s Chuck Norris doing push-ups and pushing the universe down.

Rest in peace, Chuck.

Or more accurately...
Rest in fear, universe.

 

[AzScorpion]

 

[TxOTRRanger]

Here are the other Chuck Norris movies that I like.
The Delta Force, which also starred Lee Marvin. Az, mentioned that one in the first post. INVASION USA and Code Of Silence.

 

[FerdRanger]

ok one more and i’ll stop…….

this is Chuck Norris’s favorite Chuck Norris joke:

 

[Dereku]

Chuck Norris didn't join the Air Force....the Air Force joined Chuck Norris.

Crap I need to get my DD214 updated. Im a Chuck Norris Veteran.

 

[AzScorpion]

Pretty bad ass at 57 years old!

 

[AzScorpion]

Mega Accomplishments. Look at the last one and what he could bench press.

 

[TxOTRRanger]

I just thought of a line he said to the State Trooper after he broke up the fight that Wilkes henchman instigated. The Trooper told him, "you should have booked those bastards Ranger." McQuade, "kid, if I locked up everybody who took a swing at me, half the County would be behind bars. "

 

[AzScorpion]

I always use to listen to Paul Harvey's "The Rest Of The Story" and just came across this one. Kind of crazy how things in life work out and an interesting story about Chuck Norris when he was young.

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