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How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

Dr. Zaius

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If it was American I would have just figured the Gov doesn't want us to pay attention to something else. Like what they do with all the UFO bs lately.
The government now saying they are real makes me less likely to believe they are real.
 


9zero1790

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The government now saying they are real makes me less likely to believe they are real.
what was it old kelly told us... something like, "we got both types here, man made and other than man made... which ones you talking about?"
 

Radioman

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Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!


And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
 

P. A. Schilke

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Finally! Great bed rake design!

Single-use item? Fill it with thrash and leave the whole thing - can self- incinerate too.

1691614614539.png
This has to be the stupidest use of camo on a vehicle... Hides nothing of note. Clearly a wanna be "secret" styling design...

Best,
Phil
 

Synfulz

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This has to be the stupidest use of camo on a vehicle... Hides nothing of note. Clearly a wanna be "secret" styling design...

Best,
Phil
It's to hide the rake and high bed sides.?
 

Dr. Zaius

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Metal Geezer

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Finally! Great bed rake design!

Single-use item? Fill it with thrash and leave the whole thing - can self- incinerate too.

1691614614539.png
What?? I don’t see anything…. ?
 

subquark

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Metal Geezer

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Did I read that sign right?

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

….. [/snip]
Family friendly pawn shop!! Bring your wife and we’ll dicker!!
Sponsored

 
 








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