How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Trigganometry]

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[P. A. Schilke]

I think with this polar vortex, everyone was being naughty just to get lumps of coal to heat the house. BTW, if this admin gets their way and there is no more coal, what will Santa put in the stockings of naughty kids?

Hi Jason,

I am sitting here studying the lump of coal I got in my stocking next to Tito's and Margie's stockings. I thought the nice high end Vacuum cleaner I bought for Margie would be a well received package... Did I do wrong???

Best,
Phil

 

[KJRR]

Hi Jason,

I am sitting here studying the lump of coal I got in my stocking next to Tito's and Margie's stockings. I thought the nice high end Vacuum cleaner I bought for Margie would be a well received package... Did I do wrong???

Best,
Phil

No way Phil! Any gift that makes the women's work easier should be appreciated!
My wife was happy with the cordless lawn trimmer and leaf blower I got her.
Now she did complain about the self-propelled lawn mower I picked up over the summer and I suggested she just keep using the old one that she had to push. And then I said, quit your bitchen and get back in the kitchen. I don't think she heard me though since she said, what did you say? I didn't repeat myself.

 

[BS67]

 

[LaBalbe]

Looks ready for the next Zombie Apocalypse. Just add chainsaws.

Where can I rent this the next time my wife wants to go Black Friday shopping?

 

[LaBalbe]

hope every got gifts ahead of him getttin bagged.

Boy, some politician really took offense to receiving a stocking full of coal. You'd think that they'd be used to getting that by now.

 

[LaBalbe]

More plumbers need these....

 

[LaBalbe]

When a stripper has the munchies, but is also super-tired from having worked a double....

 

[LaBalbe]

And here I thought she was always a wholesome woman.....

 

[Sharky]

Now, as if everything else wasn’t bad enough, we find out that beer isn’t good for us, and I was wondering WHY??

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.



( A ) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

( B ) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period.

( C ) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men :-



1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.



No further testing was considered necessary!!

 

[Big Blue]

This!

 

[LaBalbe]

Now, as if everything else wasn’t bad enough, we find out that beer isn’t good for us, and I was wondering WHY??

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.



( A ) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

( B ) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period.

( C ) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men :-



1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.



No further testing was considered necessary!!

I hear that there's a follow-up study to determine how long-term consumption affects cleavage size.

 

[LaBalbe]

 

[Trigganometry]

Now, as if everything else wasn’t bad enough, we find out that beer isn’t good for us, and I was wondering WHY??

Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.



( A ) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

( B ) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period.

( C ) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men :-



1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.



No further testing was considered necessary!!

9) ALL women encountered are drop dead gorgeous with or without glasses

10) Drink it long enough and you get man boobs because of it ?

 

[Jason B]

More plumbers need these....

Where's Waldo?
Been looking for him for years. Never expected to find him there!

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