How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[KJRR]

I plead the fifth....

I'll drink the fifth!

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[RedlandRanger]

"A fart so wet, your socks get soaked" -- Donnie Baker and the Pork Pistols

That is hilarious and gross all at the same time!

 

[P. A. Schilke]

I've dated a couple southern woman and can absolutely confirm this.

@Tracy Bowman.... Any chance this is your cousin's sister's uncle's aunt's baby's daddy's? ???

Hey! I married a Southern woman....

 

[FX4Offroad]

Hey! I married a Southern woman....

Sleep with one eye opened man!

There's a series called "Snapped". Basically, it's about women that kill their husbands / boyfriends. The ones that are the worst are absolutely the southern women.

Just sayin'.

Edit (add):
There was a recent episode where a southern woman was probably the most evil I have ever seen on this series.

She was a southern belle that was a good church-going woman that fed the homeless and did wonderful things for their community until her husband mysteriously passed away. When they investigated he had been slowly poisoned. Further investigation showed that she had done the same thing to several prior husbands.

Is this her first marriage?

 

[AzScorpion]

Hey! I married a Southern woman....

So I assume you have a seeing eye dog now? ?

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Sleep with one eye opened man!

There's a series called "Snapped". Basically, it's about women that kill their husbands / boyfriends. The ones that are the worst are absolutely the southern women.

Just sayin'.

Edit (add):
There was a recent episode where a southern woman was probably the most evil I have ever seen on this series.

She was a southern belle that was a good church-going woman that fed the homeless and did wonderful things for their community until her husband mysteriously passed away. When they investigated he had been slowly poisoned. Further investigation showed that she had done the same thing to several prior husbands.

Is this her first marriage?

Perhaps Lynn Turner?

She was featured on Snapped.

 

[FX4Offroad]

Perhaps Lynn Turner?

She was featured on Snapped.

I believe it was a different lady - but - this one is up there.

btw - has anyone heard from Phil in the last hour? hmmm

 

[Capt'n Awesome]

Hey! I married a Southern woman....

Me too. She smiled when I showed her this. Should I worry?

 

[Cape Cruiser]

If she says "Bless your heart" - RUN

 

[P. A. Schilke]

If she says "Bless your heart" - RUN

Actually...you should run when she says "I do declare!".

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Shocking news...

 

[AzScorpion]

Me too. She smiled when I showed her this. Should I worry?

I would. lol

Just remember this:

God I hope my girlfriend never sees this!

 

[FX4Offroad]

My wife isn't southern but - she has a note pad when we watch Snapped.

I've seen the notes:

1. Don't use a cell phone (can be pinged off towers)
2. Dont use a credit card when buying
   1. a large bin
   2. duct tape
   3. shovel
3. Don't keep antifreeze after 2000
   1. After 2000, a bitterant was added so it doesn't taste like Gatorade

I don't drink green Gatorade or sleep anymore.

Edit: As a matter of fact, I worry so much, I'm 23 and my avatar is a self portrait.

 

[Doc]

My wife isn't southern but - she has a note pad when we watch Snapped.

I've seen the notes:

1. Don't use a cell phone (can be pinged off towers)
2. Dont use a credit card when buying
   1. a large bin
   2. duct tape
   3. shovel
3. Don't keep antifreeze after 2000
   1. After 2000, a bitterant was added so it doesn't taste like Gatorade

I don't drink green Gatorade or sleep anymore.

Edit: As a matter of fact, I worry so much, I'm 23 and my avatar is a self portrait.

Yeah, I was so nervous when I graduated from the 4th grade, I cut myself Shaving ...

 

[P. A. Schilke]

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