How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Dr. Zaius]

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[AzScorpion]

Blasphemy!!!

Dave's not wrong, but for the record I do like 5 Guys. Burgers are hot and fresh and "juicy" because they are not made until you order them...same with the fries.

We don't eat from there or any other fast food place often, but if I get a choice of where to go among burger joints I will choose them.

Since you love your greasy fast food I found you a new job. It actually pays pretty good and now you can eat all those greasy burgers and fries and make money.

Your new title is CTO...Chief Tasting Officer.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/wendy-offers-fast-food-lovers-213513225.html

According to Wendy’s website, the company is seeking out a “Chief Tasting Officer.” The sweeter part of the deal is that the legendary fast food brand is offering applicants a $100,000 salary.

Additionally, the CTO will create content for Wendy’s, including eating their famous burgers and fries.

“Basically, you’ll get paid to eat Wendy’s, be chill, maybe make some content and maybe even star in ads,” the Wendy’s promo says. “Whether its quarterly vlog check-ins, taste trending or whatever, you’ll make cheddar just for liking cheddar.”

 

[AzScorpion]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[dtech]

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.

Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.

A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman, who was more than happy to donate his blood.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him:

"I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?"

To this, the Arab replied: " Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins.

 

[LaBalbe]

True story:

 

[LaBalbe]

To be fair, I can see a legitimate reason for that. Imagine Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder wandering in going "Is this the recording stu--"

 

[Metal Geezer]

They’re dying from starvation anyway…

 

[Metal Geezer]

K, now THAT’S funny.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[AzScorpion]

 

[Metal Geezer]

First day on Earth:

A month of fast-food later:

 

[Dr. Zaius]

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