How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[LaBalbe]

"How much truck could a red truck, truck...."

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[LaBalbe]

When your car is allergic to insects, and you take it for a drive during mosquito season...

 

[Synfulz]

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else", said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to
Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she
was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went
upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but
he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me
three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Nova Scotia."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Nova Scotia ."

"I know," the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She
asked me to give you your $15,000.00 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

Best one I have read.

 

[Radioman]

Hi Kent,

This reminds me of the way Las Vegas McCarrin was in the mid 1980s...six hour in line to get through the Wackenhut Security check point. I was so infuriated by this that I wrote the Manager of the air port that my staff would not be flying through LV anymore. We would fly to Phoenix and catch a puddle jumper to Havasu to get to the AZ proving grounds. And I made it stick... Sent the letter to major Casinos as well as Vegas was always a playground stop on the way to the proving grounds. Probably like peeing in the ocean but there was no call for this stupid level of service.

Best,
Phil

Great story Phil.

 

[BS67]

 

[BS67]

 

[BS67]

 

[BS67]

 

[LaBalbe]

The sad thing is that I wouldn't be at all surprised if this actually became a reality, at least in part, especially if their lawyers can figure out a way to eliminate their liability from having shoppers doing the unloading.

 

[Trigganometry]

The sad thing is that I wouldn't be at all surprised if this actually became a reality, at least in part, especially if their lawyers can figure out a way to eliminate their liability from having shoppers doing the unloading.

That’s when you can wear your new cap that you unloaded!

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Always make sure your hedgehog is securely belted in for the trip....

Best,
Phil

 

[Radioman]

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table and asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand), so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language. After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.

They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

 

[Sanctus Rimor]

.

 

[Synfulz]

That’s when you can wear your new cap that you unloaded!

This the big guy hat?

 

[Figarou]

Always make sure your hedgehog is securely belted in for the trip....

Best,
Phil

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