How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Fawnbuster]

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[Fawnbuster]

We had a cocktail waitress at Steak n ale who kept stealing the desserts and scarfing them down before going back up to the bar, apparently she had a chocolate addiction or something. Being the kitchen manager (before a leo) I got tired of watching my bonus get eaten so I made a hot fudge Sunday, it was beautiful work of art, extra hot fudge, whipped cream and 2 cherries all on top of a giant scoop of our butter/margarine mix that came in 5 gallon buckets! I set it in the reach in freezer and Debbie came into the kitchen right on cue and I said "hey Debbie there's an extra hot fudge Sunday in the freezer, customer didn't want it, you may as well eat it." I watched her grab it, I even handed her a spoon! First 2 bites was whipped cream theeennnnnnn she dug a deep spoonful of the fudge covered butter mix and shoveled it in and a few seconds later she was hurling in the trash can! She didn't steal food from the kitchen again...I love it when a plan comes together!

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Bob902]

We had a cocktail waitress at Steak n ale who kept stealing the desserts and scarfing them down before going back up to the bar, apparently she had a chocolate addiction or something. Being the kitchen manager (before a leo) I got tired of watching my bonus get eaten so I made a hot fudge Sunday, it was beautiful work of art, extra hot fudge, whipped cream and 2 cherries all on top of a giant scoop of our butter/margarine mix that came in 5 gallon buckets! I set it in the reach in freezer and Debbie came into the kitchen right on cue and I said "hey Debbie there's an extra hot fudge Sunday in the freezer, customer didn't want it, you may as well eat it." I watched her grab it, I even handed her a spoon! First 2 bites was whipped cream theeennnnnnn she dug a deep spoonful of the fudge covered butter mix and shoveled it in and a few seconds later she was hurling in the trash can! She didn't steal food from the kitchen again...I love it when a plan comes together!

Not all heroes wear capes

 

[Jason B]

I'd like to see the results of pulling on that strap looped through the roof. Now that would be
funny!

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Bkfore]

There should be an "ugh" emoji for this one.....

Thank you! Remember where I was and who told me this joke in the early 80s, but could only remember the punchline. Long time wondering.

 

[9zero1790]

whats wrong with kids today, bad parents... or having brain squashed at a young age.

 

[9zero1790]

?????

 

[Dr. Zaius]

whats wrong with kids today, bad parents... or having brain squashed at a young age.

Reminded me of this one...

 

[Fordup]

We had a cocktail waitress at Steak n ale who kept stealing the desserts and scarfing them down before going back up to the bar, apparently she had a chocolate addiction or something. Being the kitchen manager (before a leo) I got tired of watching my bonus get eaten so I made a hot fudge Sunday, it was beautiful work of art, extra hot fudge, whipped cream and 2 cherries all on top of a giant scoop of our butter/margarine mix that came in 5 gallon buckets! I set it in the reach in freezer and Debbie came into the kitchen right on cue and I said "hey Debbie there's an extra hot fudge Sunday in the freezer, customer didn't want it, you may as well eat it." I watched her grab it, I even handed her a spoon! First 2 bites was whipped cream theeennnnnnn she dug a deep spoonful of the fudge covered butter mix and shoveled it in and a few seconds later she was hurling in the trash can! She didn't steal food from the kitchen again...I love it when a plan comes together!

I worked in a small hometown store when I was young. We always had a big Hershey chocolate bar to snack on sitting on the counter in a hallway going to the back stock room. We noticed when the Coca-Cola delivery guy left it was totally gone every time. So a coworker decided to break up an exlax bar into the Hershey wrapper when he saw the truck arrive for a delivery. He left and the wrapper was empty. About 5 minutes later that truck pulled back in, he jumped out and ran to our employee rest room. I think he spent a half hour in there. We had a good laugh at him as he left that day. Never lost a bite of chocolate after that.

 

[Trigganometry]

I worked in a small hometown store when I was young. We always had a big Hershey chocolate bar to snack on sitting on the counter in a hallway going to the back stock room. We noticed when the Coca-Cola delivery guy left it was totally gone every time. So a coworker decided to break up an exlax bar into the Hershey wrapper when he saw the truck arrive for a delivery. He left and the wrapper was empty. About 5 minutes later that truck pulled back in, he jumped out and ran to our employee rest room. I think he spent a half hour in there. We had a good laugh at him as he left that day. Never lost a bite of chocolate after that.

Oh man that reminds me of when I first started working. Was a clerk in a pharmacy. Small shop and the owner worked day shifts and he had another guy fill in nights as a pharmacist. So I guess the night guy was drinking on the job. Owner pharmacist asked me if I saw him drinking. I said he just drinks OJ from what I’ve seen. Well guess this guy was mixing pharmacy’s grain alcohol with his OJ and getting lit! So owner said to be sure to let him know tomorrow how the night went. I found out later owner put croton oil in the grain alcohol bottle. The night guy took a few wacks of his drink and I say 5 minutes later he couldn’t make it to the bathroom fast enough. I have never heard since such a racked and groans from any bathroom. He was in there an hour anyways. Back then all phones were dial and corded. He has me dial up his wife and hand him the phone in the commode. 20 minutes later she comes in with a full change of clothes. By now I’m bug eyed about what’s going on. Well off she goes and he comes out. Not putting 2+2 together he grabs his cup and finished off the drink! I swear to god, was all of 3 minutes and off he goes again! He didn’t make it for round 2 ether ? His poor wife had to come back with another change of clothes ? We closed early that night. Next day is when I found out what really happened. The owner laughed till he was crying ?. That’s the day I learned, never drink on the job!

 

[Fawnbuster]

Oh man that reminds me of when I first started working. Was a clerk in a pharmacy. Small shop and the owner worked day shifts and he had another guy fill in nights as a pharmacist. So I guess the night guy was drinking on the job. Owner pharmacist asked me if I saw him drinking. I said he just drinks OJ from what I’ve seen. Well guess this guy was mixing pharmacy’s grain alcohol with his OJ and getting lit! So owner said to be sure to let him know tomorrow how the night went. I found out later owner put croton oil in the grain alcohol bottle. The night guy took a few wacks of his drink and I say 5 minutes later he couldn’t make it to the bathroom fast enough. I have never heard since such a racked and groans from any bathroom. He was in there an hour anyways. Back then all phones were dial and corded. He has me dial up his wife and hand him the phone in the commode. 20 minutes later she comes in with a full change of clothes. By now I’m bug eyed about what’s going on. Well off she goes and he comes out. Not putting 2+2 together he grabs his cup and finished off the drink! I swear to god, was all of 3 minutes and off he goes again! He didn’t make it for round 2 ether ? His poor wife had to come back with another change of clothes ? We closed early that night. Next day is when I found out what really happened. The owner laughed till he was crying ?. That’s the day I learned, never drink on the job!

Omg Trig that's hilarious!

 

[TXRangerTim]

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