How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[AzScorpion]

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[gfitzge2]

One time I was coming back from Canada with a couple of coworkers.

One of the guys had found and purchased this "rare" nurse bear Beanie Baby (it was when Beanie Babies were the hot ticket in toys)

So we're coming back into the US and the border agent asked if we had anything over $200 to declare for entry.

Vince pipes up "I have this Beanie Baby that I paid $250 for"

Border agent pauses for a second. Then says "Do you have anything that's actually WORTH over $200 that you want to declare?" ?

They know what they are talking about.

 

[LaBalbe]

They know what they are talking about.

There's a reason they're nicknamed "cobra chickens" around here....

Plus, they're pretty heavy, and can do a lot of damage to vehicles. A guy I used to work with once collided with one on the highway entering Toronto; apparently it was taking off, so was still in pretty low flight. Anyway, his windshield completely disintegrated. Cops said that it was a good thing that he was driving, as he wore glasses, which shielded his eyes from the glass dust enough that he was able to steer the car off to the side of the road; neither of his passengers had on glasses, and both of them were temporarily blinded from the glass dust. They found the bird in the passenger footwell.

 

[KNI]

I'm looking at some UFO shit on Prime.

Have to ask what makes person to think that there are aliens, who traveled at minimum 4.5 light years in their spaceship, among us based on finding a bottle cap from Roswell desert with metal detector.

And testimony of a PVC for Area 52. Would the PVC guarding the fence really have any idea on what was happening at there? (I'd figure a new plane tests with contractors & WAYPG).

Good thing I'm drunk from the wine.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

This explains the alien abductions.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[5thranger]

Just like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith once said No matter how good looking a woman is there is a guy somewhere tired of her bull shit.

 

[Jason B]

I'm looking at some UFO shit on Prime.

Have to ask what makes person to think that there are aliens, who traveled at minimum 4.5 light years in their spaceship, among us based on finding a bottle cap from Roswell desert with metal detector.

And testimony of a PVC for Area 52. Would the PVC guarding the fence really have any idea on what was happening at there? (I'd figure a new plane tests with contractors & WAYPG).

Good thing I'm drunk from the wine.

That place is so secretive and compartmentalized, that most of the people that work there have no idea of what goes on there, other the one section/part that they are working on.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[got3fords]

There's a reason they're nicknamed "cobra chickens" around here....

Plus, they're pretty heavy, and can do a lot of damage to vehicles. A guy I used to work with once collided with one on the highway entering Toronto; apparently it was taking off, so was still in pretty low flight. Anyway, his windshield completely disintegrated. Cops said that it was a good thing that he was driving, as he wore glasses, which shielded his eyes from the glass dust enough that he was able to steer the car off to the side of the road; neither of his passengers had on glasses, and both of them were temporarily blinded from the glass dust. They found the bird in the passenger footwell.

I hit a big tom turkey with a 1994 Ford Explorer. Buckled the roof, if were just a couple of inches lower, it would have come through the windshield. Had to drive home looking out one small section of unshattered windshield at the bottom, and a couple of feathers blowing around in the wind.

 

[5thranger]

I hit a big tom turkey with a 1994 Ford Explorer. Buckled the roof, if were just a couple of inches lower, it would have come through the windshield. Had to drive home looking out one small section of unshattered windshield at the bottom, and a couple of feathers blowing around in the wind.

Years ago a coworker of mine hit one in a semi an R model Mack which had split windshield it came in passenger side and was flopping around in the cab it looked like a brutal murder took place.

 

[Fordup]

 

[KNI]

Seems that I'm bit behind on the hype as I have yet to clone an animal on the farm.

https://apnews.com/article/giant-sh...a?utm_source=flipboard&utm_content=topic/news

 

[Fawnbuster]

I hit a big tom turkey with a 1994 Ford Explorer. Buckled the roof, if were just a couple of inches lower, it would have come through the windshield. Had to drive home looking out one small section of unshattered windshield at the bottom, and a couple of feathers blowing around in the wind.

Worked a personal injury crash, dispatch said it was car vs bird... I said dispatch did you say a bird?? (Me thinking sparrow, starling etc) she replied saying it's now reported she hit a tom turkey flying across the road, came thru the windshield and hit the lady driving right in the face...


I was driving on a hilly road, had a suicidal pheasant flying straight at me and as I came up the hill we where eye to eye for a split second before she pulled up and cleared my lightbar somehow. I still see that look in her eyes like oh sh*t!

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