How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[5thranger]

So one of my new CRT’s was so big, it wouldn’t fit in the TV cabinet. I don’t know if this made me a videophile, or a redneck. Great for letter box format though. From 2007.

Much better now!

The guy on the tv is saying I'm trying to find something we can afford.

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[Doc]

Coming soon to your neighborhood…

 

[LaBalbe]

 

[AzScorpion]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Like this nice lady at the superbowl...



My wife called me at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

Me: "No, not really..."

She responded, "How about now?"

 

[Fordup]

 

[Fawnbuster]

So I'm sitting waiting for the car wash and saw this, wondering if that's a seasonal 7 foot, is that at the bottom of the pipe or the longest icicle?

 

[Motorpsychology]

So I'm sitting waiting for the car wash and saw this, wondering if that's a seasonal 7 foot, is that at the bottom of the pipe or the longest icicle?

The icicles are put there seasonally, because as the cold weather progresses, the ice buildup on the exit end decreases vertical clearance.

 

[AzScorpion]

The icicles are put there seasonally, because as the cold weather progresses, the ice buildup on the exit end decreases vertical clearance.

Or for those who don't clean the snow off their roof.

 

[KJRR]

Or for those who don't clean the snow off their roof.

I'm just happy that person cleared the windshield. Some of the people around here have one little portal they look out of. So glad I don't drive to the office much anymore.

 

[Motorpsychology]

I'm just happy that person cleared the windshield. Some of the people around here have one little portal they look out of. So glad I don't drive to the office much anymore.

Yeah, but if you scrape much more than a few square inches, the credit card gets brittle and can snap in two.

I hate it when I open the truck door to grab the snow brush and the vacuum sucks half the snow from the roof onto the seat. Sometimes I still forget to sweep an armload off above the door before opening it.

 

[KJRR]

Yeah, but if you scrape much more than a few square inches, the credit card gets brittle and can snap in two.

I hate it when I open the truck door to grab the snow brush and the vacuum sucks half the snow from the roof onto the seat. Sometimes I still forget to sweep an armload off above the door before opening it.

Aren't the seat warmers there to melt that away?

 

[twk]

I'm just happy that person cleared the windshield. Some of the people around here have one little portal they look out of. So glad I don't drive to the office much anymore.

Just over a year ago I moved back to MN from NC, near Charlotte..
In NC, that is exactly what many people there do. Luckily, NC doesn't get much snow in the Charlotte area.

 

[LaBalbe]

Yeah, but if you scrape much more than a few square inches, the credit card gets brittle and can snap in two.

I hate it when I open the truck door to grab the snow brush and the vacuum sucks half the snow from the roof onto the seat. Sometimes I still forget to sweep an armload off above the door before opening it.

That's why I keep an extendable brush and scraper in the garage, so that I don't have to get the ones out of the cab when I'm doing first clearing of the day.

 

[Fawnbuster]

Or for those who don't clean the snow off their roof.

On the bright side at least for that driver he has some extra weight for traction, he'll need it getting to the gas station after pushing a garage door for aerodynamics

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