Sponsored
How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]
- Thread starter AzScorpion
- Start date
- Watchers 89
FerdRanger
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Ferdinand the Great
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
- Threads
- 6
- Messages
- 319
- Reaction score
- 1,210
- Location
- Central NY
- Vehicle(s)
- 2020 Ranger Lariat Sport 4x4
- Occupation
- no thanks
timber rattler vote here
Dr. Zaius
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Dennis
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2019
- Threads
- 76
- Messages
- 6,681
- Reaction score
- 40,809
- Location
- Living The Dream
- Vehicle(s)
- 2019 Ranger XLT FX4
It's a copperhead.
Gsxrdoug
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Doug
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2021
- Threads
- 12
- Messages
- 478
- Reaction score
- 1,345
- Location
- Hawaii -- Oahu
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 ranger, XLT 4x4, Cactus Gray
- Occupation
- Therapist -- Retired Navy
Copperhead not good to step on. No snakes in Hawaii.
FasterGT350
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2021
- Threads
- 1
- Messages
- 1,231
- Reaction score
- 10,990
- Location
- Upstate NY
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Mach1, 2022 Ranger Tremor
- Occupation
- Quality Control
See what
FasterGT350
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2021
- Threads
- 1
- Messages
- 1,231
- Reaction score
- 10,990
- Location
- Upstate NY
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Mach1, 2022 Ranger Tremor
- Occupation
- Quality Control
Hear that?
FasterGT350
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2021
- Threads
- 1
- Messages
- 1,231
- Reaction score
- 10,990
- Location
- Upstate NY
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Mach1, 2022 Ranger Tremor
- Occupation
- Quality Control
FasterGT350
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2021
- Threads
- 1
- Messages
- 1,231
- Reaction score
- 10,990
- Location
- Upstate NY
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Mach1, 2022 Ranger Tremor
- Occupation
- Quality Control
That's how
Marpater
Well-Known Member
A magician gets himself a parrot for his act.
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows, saying things like, “It’s under his hat, it’s up his sleeve, his assistant has it.”
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end.
The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, “Alright, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows, saying things like, “It’s under his hat, it’s up his sleeve, his assistant has it.”
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end.
The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, “Alright, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
Marpater
Well-Known Member
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yes”, the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that Jesus is watching you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the parrot.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The same kind of people who would name a Pit Bull Jesus.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yes”, the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that Jesus is watching you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the parrot.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The same kind of people who would name a Pit Bull Jesus.”
Marpater
Well-Known Member
A lady walks into a pet store where she sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO.
The lady asks the pet shop owner, “Why so cheap?”
The owner says, “This bird used to live in a house of ill-repute, so he says a lot of inappropriate things.”
The lady can’t pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is, “Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn’t bad looking.”
The lady finds it amusing. Soon after, her two teen daughters get home and the bird says, “New girls in the house, business will be booming tonight.”
The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later, the woman’s husband gets home and the bird says, “Hey Jim, haven't seen you for a couple of weeks!”
The lady asks the pet shop owner, “Why so cheap?”
The owner says, “This bird used to live in a house of ill-repute, so he says a lot of inappropriate things.”
The lady can’t pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is, “Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn’t bad looking.”
The lady finds it amusing. Soon after, her two teen daughters get home and the bird says, “New girls in the house, business will be booming tonight.”
The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later, the woman’s husband gets home and the bird says, “Hey Jim, haven't seen you for a couple of weeks!”
Langwilliams
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Langley
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2019
- Threads
- 26
- Messages
- 3,205
- Reaction score
- 7,505
- Location
- Lorain, Ohio
- Vehicle(s)
- 2019 Ford Ranger XLT, 2014 Harley Street Glide
- Occupation
- Mail Carrier (retired) Navy Vet
I saw one:
Bill says: My wife ran away with my best friend Dave yesterday.
John asks: since when is Dave your best friend?
Bill says: Since yesterday!
Last edited:
OP
OP
AzScorpion
Moderator
- First Name
- Dave
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2019
- Threads
- 335
- Messages
- 26,335
- Reaction score
- 132,678
- Location
- Back Home In AZ!
- Vehicle(s)
- 2023 Ford Ranger Tremor
- Occupation
- Retired...Full Time Slacker
- Thread starter
- #2,730
Now I know why Bill is happy. Tell Bill I'm sending her back overnight express! ?
Sponsored
