How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[FX4Offroad]

Appropriate for the time

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[FX4Offroad]

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[AzScorpion]

 

[FX4Offroad]

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[BButah]

Hope these bring a smile ?

• All of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. Half will come out with a drinking problem.

• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

• I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

• Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

• Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well.

• Home-schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

• I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came back to my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

• My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

• I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

• Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said, "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year"... I'm offended.

 

[BButah]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Ronbo]

Finally, some good news? We found him!!!

 

[outdoorphotog]

I can tell by that news banner that that news is here. Maybe they setting up for a sideshow.

 

[Tracy Bowman]

 

[Doc]

Crown Royal..

 

[outdoorphotog]

 

[Sashimi_Moto]

I illegally downloaded all of Wikipedia and when I got arrested I said, “wait, I can explain everything!”

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

I told my psychiatrist I am hearing voices in my head and he told me, I don’t have psychiatrist.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[AzScorpion]

That definitely wins the title "You might be a redneck". lol

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