How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[KJRR]

And plastic straws come in a paper wrapper!!
The paper wrapped ones used to be the best. You could tear off one end and shoot the wrapper like a blow gun at your buddies sitting across from you. Now they are wrapped tighter and you just blow out the other end while your 8 year old granddaughter stares at you condescendingly.

I must admit, my kids and I still shoot the straw papers at each other. My wife just rolls her eyes. The best is when I'm out to dinner with my parents and shoot the paper. You have to grow old, you don't have to grow up.

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[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

For the ones old enough to remember.

I vaguely remember Casper. Richie Rich not so much.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[AzScorpion]

Of course it can be done!

Should it be done is a different story.

 

[Doc]

Of course it can be done!

Should it be done is a different story.

 

[AzScorpion]

A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:

• Officer: May I see your driver's license?

• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?

• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?

• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.

• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?

• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:

• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?

• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.

• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?

• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.

• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.

• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.

• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.

• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

 

[Fordup]

What every kid wants. A v8 go cart.

 

[AzScorpion]

Just when you thought these couldn't get any uglier!

 

[Dr. Zaius]

What every kid wants. A v8 go cart.

And the mature "Professional" version...

 

[Doc]

Just when you thought these couldn't get any uglier!

Future Flame thrower …

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

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