How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[FasterGT350]

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[AzScorpion]

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[THLONE]

Once a month a Japanese man would come into the bank and exchange Yen for Dollars. This month the Yen had lost some value so the man didnt get the rate of return for his Yen that he got last month. He asked the teller to explain why he didnt get as much dollars for his yen. The teller said "fluxuations". The man said "flux you Americans too".

 

[Figarou]

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[Figarou]

since others posted funny crossing signs: I may have already posted this one. if so, sorry for the double. this one is a legit crossing zone in iceland despite looking like a joke. to americans we are like, "scuba steve, Jacques Cousteau crossing ? ?"

 

[Figarou]

 

[Figarou]

 

[Figarou]

 

[Figarou]

 

[gfitzge2]

That all changes when they are in a fast car.

"Youth is wasted on the young." The little old Lady from Pasadena

 

[Marpater]

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act.

“You’re going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket,” the game warden says.

“But, officer, I didn’t catch these. They’re my pet fish, and I just bring them here to swim. When they’re done, they jump back into the bucket.”

“Oh really? This I’ve got to see. If you can prove it, I’ll let you go.”

The fisherman empties the bucket into the lake and waits patiently. A few minutes go by and nothing happens. The game warden asks, “So where are the fish?”

The fisherman replies, “What fish?”

 

[Marpater]

Two hunters chartered a small plane to take them into the wilderness for a week hunting moose.

They managed to bag six moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the small plane could carry only four.

The two hunters objected. “Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all, and he had the same kind of plane as yours.”

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while they were attempting to cross the mountains, the little plane gave out under the heavy load and went down.

Somehow both hunters survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, one asked the other, “Any idea where we are?”

The other replied, “I think we’re pretty close to where we crashed last year!”

 

[Marpater]

An ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice. Suddenly, a loud voice from above says, “There are no fish down there.”

The angler moves a few yards away and drills another hole.

Again the voice says, louder this time, “There are no fish down there.”

He moves even farther away and drills one more hole, but the voice booms, “THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE.”

The fisherman looks up. “God, is that you?”

“No,” says the voice, “it’s the rink manager.”

 

[Marpater]

Three hunters find a set of tracks in the woods.

The first hunter says, “Hey guys, I think these are elk tracks!”

The second one says, “No, I’m pretty sure these are wolf tracks.”

Before the third one can say anything, they’re all hit by the train coming down the tracks or attacked by the bear who made the tracks....... not sure which is a better ending

 

[Dr. Zaius]

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