How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Dr. Zaius]

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[Trigganometry]

A twofer

 

[outdoorphotog]

I would have never thought of it....

 

[P. A. Schilke]

I would have never thought of it....

Hi Ian,

Yep...not original though but I would have taken the tire too and cut the boot off.

Back in the day at Ford, Ford Security (Contract Company) used boots with a large cover over the wheel lugs to disable vehicles....They took it upon themselves to boot our test vehicles when they deemed them to be parked in unsecure areas. I got fed up with this as time is money and the Security folks were slow to write us up and unboot the truck with their "stern" warning of being fired from the company... So I decided to make the special "key" that was used to secure the boot. It took some metal round stock and turning the stock off center to drill a hole that corresponded to the boot lock. Anyway...we waited for Security to do wave 2 of their war with engineering. I came in one morning to see about a dozen trucks booted...got out my "key" and it worked...unbooted all 12 trucks, but it did not stop there. We knew where the head of Security parked his car and some of the Security Aholes. So over to their lot and we installed boots on their cars. For the head of security we booted all 4 wheels. Never heard a word from any of Security detail, but this quote "Damn Engineers!!!" Never had a test vehicle booted again...

Best,
Phil

 

[outdoorphotog]

 

[outdoorphotog]

Hi Ian,

Yep...not original though but I would have taken the tire too and cut the boot off.

Back in the day at Ford, Ford Security (Contract Company) used boots with a large cover over the wheel lugs to disable vehicles....They took it upon themselves to boot our test vehicles when they deemed them to be parked in unsecure areas. I got fed up with this as time is money and the Security folks were slow to write us up and unboot the truck with their "stern" warning of being fired from the company... So I decided to make the special "key" that was used to secure the boot. It took some metal round stock and turning the stock off center to drill a hole that corresponded to the boot lock. Anyway...we waited for Security to do wave 2 of their war with engineering. I came in one morning to see about a dozen trucks booted...got out my "key" and it worked...unbooted all 12 trucks, but it did not stop there. We knew where the head of Security parked his car and some of the Security Aholes. So over to their lot and we installed boots on their cars. For the head of security we booted all 4 wheels. Never heard a word from any of Security detail, but this quote "Damn Engineers!!!" Never had a test vehicle booted again...

Best,
Phil

hahaha that is hilarious.

 

[Fawnbuster]

I have enough trouble walking on flat ground

HEELS! Ya gotta try it in heels!

Grabbing muh popcorn waiting on this one ?

 

[P. A. Schilke]

hahaha that is hilarious.

Hi Ian,

We left the booted vehicles giggling like grade school pranksters. I took my co conspiriters out for a beer after work. Head of Security was furious and demanded that the person be found and fired. My HR friend told me they were also amused and dropped the investigation before it got traction. I rationalized with the HR person that when Security booted a vehicle that has a windtunnel slot which was missed the tunnel booking was three to four months out, the cost to the company was huge. He fed this back to the Security head prick. Although this never happened in reality, Head Prick was quickly dismissed as I learned later... Anyway...do not piss off engineers...You will likely loose...

Here are pix of the "tool" that I made...

down the barrel...

And the tool kit I kept even though I was in the Executive ranks and used the tools as necessary to help out....

Notice boot tool at the lower left....

Best,
Phil

 

[Dr. Zaius]

A Lawyer dies and goes to Heaven.

"There must be some mistake," says the lawyer and demands to see the folks responsible for his demise.

“I'm only 45, I’m too young to die.”

"45?" asks Saint Peter.

"No, no, not according to our calculations. You see, we summed up your billable hours and determined that you’re over 90 years old"

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Hi Ian,

We left the booted vehicles giggling like grade school pranksters. I took my co conspiriters out for a beer after work. Head of Security was furious and demanded that the person be found and fired. My HR friend told me they were also amused and dropped the investigation before it got traction. I rationalized with the HR person that when Security booted a vehicle that has a windtunnel slot which was missed the tunnel booking was three to four months out, the cost to the company was huge. He fed this back to the Security head prick. Although this never happened in reality, Head Prick was quickly dismissed as I learned later... Anyway...do not piss off engineers...You will likely loose...

Here are pix of the "tool" that I made...

down the barrel...

And the tool kit I kept even though I was in the Executive ranks and used the tools as necessary to help out....

Notice boot tool at the lower left....

Best,
Phil

Hi Folks,

Here is a great tool....on the left a blue ribbed handle....It is a 12V soldering iron...This saved my bacon several times on being stranded with a prototype... My engineer, Bobby H found these and we ordered over a hundred of them to pass around to development engineers. What a find!
I still use it today on our RV which is an electrical nightmare.

Best,
Phil

 

[DeathRanger]

 

[outdoorphotog]

 

[outdoorphotog]

 

[Tracy Bowman]

Preacher told me this one:
A blonde and a brunette are about to walk into a bar. The brunette ducks….

 

[T Bone]

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