Patently Absurd

[SigOris]

I will draw the line when Lowe's/Home Depot has an app that installs with toilet seats so they know how many times I pee and poop (seat up or down)........(at least they won't know if I pee in the shower)

How about if it automatically puts the seat down?

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[oldnslow]

There is an upside to this whole subscription nonsense though. As the cost of subscriptions to all of this gadgetry gets out of hand, which it inevitably will, there's a (slim, I know) chance that people will just refuse to pay for this crap and actually start paying attention to driving again.

I know, I know, I'm living in a fantasy world, but what can I say; I like it better here...

I like your world much better than the one I live in.

 

[Jason B]

The Home Depot INC CO CORP LLC PA LLP LTD GMBH
Everywhere, Everywhere 00001

Greetings Mr Grumpaw,
Thank you for purchasing a Deluxe Craptastic Toilet with Ultimate UrinSense® and Pro-Poop® Technology- How Doers Get More Done™- and the April Shower Enclosure Ensemble. We hope that both of these give you many years of satisfaction.
Unfortunately we must void the warranty on your April Shower. The reason being it that the UrinSense sensors detected a higher than allowable alkali tallow emulsion (soap) content in the wastewater stream. This can only occur if urine is coming from the shower drain, and potentially cause corrosion of the imitation stainless steel drain cover.

Cordially,
The Home Depot Team

Could be worse such as:
"We have detected high levels of illicit drugs in your urine. Authorities and your employer have been notified."
OR:
"We have detected high levels of blood in your stool. Your health care provider and insurance has been notified. An appointment has been made for you. Failure to seek medical attention will result in suspension of usage privileges on this device, and cancellation of your health insurance."

 

[subquark]

Back when I was growing up, Dad heated my seat regularly.

That was a different kind of heated seat switch.

An analog one!

 

[Hot Pepper Red Zeppelin]

It’s all pipes!

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