How about some Jokes [Admin: No Politics, Religion, Nudity, Explicit Posts]

[Fawnbuster]

Sparky before and after lol.

So Isa our female lab is pregnant, about 2/3 thru her term. Last night we are all in the living room, Copper asleep in my lap Terri and Isa on the loveseat. Isa decided she needed to chew an itchy spot on her hip and flipped her head across her body and proceeded to compress all that air in her bowels....she gave us about a 5 second blast that sounded like a tuba, perfect pitch I might add. We all looked at her laughing like crazy. Copper woke up and stared at Isa while the Tuba was still sounding, all the while Isa was still chewing that spot but her ears perked up and she was looking at her rear end like WTH was that!?! Shame we didn't get it on video...

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[P. A. Schilke]

With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband "Have you ever seen Twenty
Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No"
said her husband.



She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and
slowly reached down in her cleavage

created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.



She then asked "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into
her tight sheer panties

and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with
anticipation.



"Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:



"Go look in the garage."

 

[LaBalbe]

With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband "Have you ever seen Twenty
Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No"
said her husband.



She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and
slowly reached down in her cleavage

created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.



She then asked "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into
her tight sheer panties

and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with
anticipation.



"Now" she said "Have you ever seen 50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:



"Go look in the garage."

That last part sounds like my MIL when they first got married. Car was the only thing of real value that my FIL owned. One day he's at work, and she called him up to let him know that she'd ripped a giant scratch down the passenger side. Her excuse: "I thought that the lamp post was going to move."

Now, I've had her as a passenger in my vehicle, and I believe every word of that story 100%. Not only will it be a cold day in hell before she gets the keys to my truck, but I'll be keeping warm with a full-on orgy with every single Playboy Bunny in history to boot.

 

[Dr. Zaius]

My better half has a tendency to roll herself into a burrito, roll one way and lay on the blanket and then roll the rest up on the other side.

My wife doesn't steal the blankets, just everything else ?

 

[LaBalbe]

We need more of these signs IRL....

 

[LaBalbe]

This might be the greatest food truck ever.....

 

[Dr. Zaius]

I was dating a girl who was an insurance adjuster when almost this exact thing happened.

One of their customers backed his late 70's Ford pickup into a Lamborghini Countach that was slowly driving by (middle of a small town).

The car was so low that he didn't see it when backing out of his space.

 

[BS67]

 

[Bob902]

 

[FasterGT350]

Kids Day

 

[FasterGT350]

Winner

 

[FasterGT350]

Weather related

 

[FasterGT350]

Happy days

 

[9zero1790]

 

[FasterGT350]

Paint job

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