Problems with Stage 3 Motor Sports

[Rich Elliott]

Now, I would never approve of dishonesty with your spouse, and you should probably tell her the truth and come to a mutual understanding about the wonder and glory of aftermarket performance parts.

However, there are ways if that fails...though these are POSSIBILITIES only, and should not be construed as advice or legal counsel.

Method 1: Phone a friend
1). Find buddy.
2). Have said buddy order parts and ship to his address.
3). Pay said buddy in cash.
4). Install at buddy’s place.
5). “Misconstrue” cash payment as some other service.

Pros: Easy, legal, fairly hassle free.
Cons: Requires buddy, requires complete dominance over family finances, requires lying to your spouse, requires your buddy not blabbing.

Method 2: Slow-Burn Subterfuge
1). Find minor issue with truck and bring it up to spouse.
2). Mention said problem whenever she’s in the truck.
3). Subtlety imply there’s an aftermarket solution for said problem.
4). Mention said aftermarket solution every time she’s in the truck.
5). Mention there’s a handsome and knowledgeable rep (namely me) willing to cut you a deal on aftermarket solution.
6). Purchase part with spouse’s approval.

Pros: No lying (sort of), if part works then she’ll be open to further upgrades.
Cons: Long process, only works on parts that actually improve something, your spouse isn’t a dumbass will figure out what you’re doing AND END YOU.

Method 3: One-Man Stealth Op
1). Order parts using a money order/secret account with squirreled away money
2). Have parts shipped to local hub or freight forwarder.
3). Load up all necessary tools and gear to do the install.
4). Drive out to the middle of nowhere to perform install.
5). Return to place of residence.
6). Hope she doesn’t notice (she will).

Pros: One-man operation for maximum security, may actually get away with it.
Cons: Requires a good amount of planning/foresight, requires control over family finances, requires proper tools/expertise, if a jack or jack stand fails during your clandestine woodland install YOU DIE, she’ll notice as soon as you come back and kick the hell out of you.

Method 4: Ultra-Super Secret Spy Stuff
1). Set up a shell company in the Caymans.
2). “Sell” your truck to said shell company. Buy used economy beater.
3). Tell wife you’re trying to save money on gas.
4). Funnel money you save on gas into shell company profits and hidden garage for your truck.
5). Purchase parts using shell company and ship to said hidden garage.
6). Build awesome truck that you take out for “business trips.”

Pros: UNLIMITED MOD POTENTIAL
Cons: probably illegal in several felonious ways, requires a ton of planning, requires a Cayman lawyer, will probably get you on a watch list, requires driving some sort of crappy beater, your spouse will find out AND END YOU.

Ok, Jason, young man. First off I’m 70 years old and I’ve been married a loong time. I am also a VW aficionado, I bought my first VW, a 1959 in 1968. I’ve been buying aftermarket parts for that forever. She knows about the buddy thing, the get a PO Box trick and even the separate bank account. She’s wise to them all. Now she’s got an iron fist on the check book. I got the truck cuz I convinced her I needed it. That was tough.
The only chance I may have is to get the truck washed and have them put a bunch of that tire shine, the wife got pissed last time I got the truck washed and the wider tires flung that stuff all over the side of the truck. I want flailed fenders and she might fall for that.

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[Jason@Stage3]

Ok, Jason, young man. First off I’m 70 years old and I’ve been married a loong time. I am also a VW aficionado, I bought my first VW, a 1959 in 1968. I’ve been buying aftermarket parts for that forever. She knows about the buddy thing, the get a PO Box trick and even the separate bank account. She’s wise to them all. Now she’s got an iron fist on the check book. I got the truck cuz I convinced her I needed it. That was tough.
The only chance I may have is to get the truck washed and have them put a bunch of that tire shine, the wife got pissed last time I got the truck washed and the wider tires flung that stuff all over the side of the truck. I want flailed fenders and she might fall for that.

Sounds like the Cayman thing is your only option.

Have fun on that FBI watch list.

Godspeed!

 

[egilbe]

5th option is to be completely transparent with the wife, show her your budgeting and finances and how you can afford to pay for upgrades and what you are willing to sacrifice in order to justify the purchase. I do this with my GF and she's completely onboard with it. I tried it with my ex-wife and she felt that just gave her an excuse to spend more money because I was holding out on her. I realized with the ex-wife that I made a mistake and corrected that mistake. I figured with the house I gave her, the child support and insurance I paid over the years, it was a $300,000 mistake.

I wish my older self could go back in time and slap the shit out of my younger self when the cute brunette with the revealing cleavage bent over in front of him. Damn those hormones and margeritas!

 

[BHunted]

Wives are very expensive. After I showed a former agent this, he said "why the hell didn't I show him years ago. He would have never got married and would be honored to take her to a bar and show off".

Lest to say, he since passed away. Stress was too much.

Miss ya Lance, you were a great partner and mentor.
In your honor, I aim to educate the current only in hopes its not too late for them.... Behold!
https://www.realdoll.com/

 

[DrewKD88]

Now, I would never approve of dishonesty with your spouse, and you should probably tell her the truth and come to a mutual understanding about the wonder and glory of aftermarket performance parts.

However, there are ways if that fails...though these are POSSIBILITIES only, and should not be construed as advice or legal counsel.

Method 1: Phone a friend
1). Find buddy.
2). Have said buddy order parts and ship to his address.
3). Pay said buddy in cash.
4). Install at buddy’s place.
5). “Misconstrue” cash payment as some other service.

Pros: Easy, legal, fairly hassle free.
Cons: Requires buddy, requires complete dominance over family finances, requires lying to your spouse, requires your buddy not blabbing.

Method 2: Slow-Burn Subterfuge
1). Find minor issue with truck and bring it up to spouse.
2). Mention said problem whenever she’s in the truck.
3). Subtlety imply there’s an aftermarket solution for said problem.
4). Mention said aftermarket solution every time she’s in the truck.
5). Mention there’s a handsome and knowledgeable rep (namely me) willing to cut you a deal on aftermarket solution.
6). Purchase part with spouse’s approval.

Pros: No lying (sort of), if part works then she’ll be open to further upgrades.
Cons: Long process, only works on parts that actually improve something, your spouse isn’t a dumbass will figure out what you’re doing AND END YOU.

Method 3: One-Man Stealth Op
1). Order parts using a money order/secret account with squirreled away money
2). Have parts shipped to local hub or freight forwarder.
3). Load up all necessary tools and gear to do the install.
4). Drive out to the middle of nowhere to perform install.
5). Return to place of residence.
6). Hope she doesn’t notice (she will).

Pros: One-man operation for maximum security, may actually get away with it.
Cons: Requires a good amount of planning/foresight, requires control over family finances, requires proper tools/expertise, if a jack or jack stand fails during your clandestine woodland install YOU DIE, she’ll notice as soon as you come back and kick the hell out of you.

Method 4: Ultra-Super Secret Spy Stuff
1). Set up a shell company in the Caymans.
2). “Sell” your truck to said shell company. Buy used economy beater.
3). Tell wife you’re trying to save money on gas.
4). Funnel money you save on gas into shell company profits and hidden garage for your truck.
5). Purchase parts using shell company and ship to said hidden garage.
6). Build awesome truck that you take out for “business trips.”

Pros: UNLIMITED MOD POTENTIAL
Cons: probably illegal in several felonious ways, requires a ton of planning, requires a Cayman lawyer, will probably get you on a watch list, requires driving some sort of crappy beater, your spouse will find out AND END YOU.

A lot of thought went into this response. Well done. BTW, I just talked to my wife and told her what I wanted. She bought me a set of Baja Designs fog lights from Stage 3 Motorsports for Father's Day! It's even better when you get the wife involved and let her drive the truck once in a while..... Under complete supervision of course.

 

[DriverA]

Now, I would never approve of dishonesty with your spouse, and you should probably tell her the truth and come to a mutual understanding about the wonder and glory of aftermarket performance parts.

However, there are ways if that fails...though these are POSSIBILITIES only, and should not be construed as advice or legal counsel.

Method 1: Phone a friend
1). Find buddy.
2). Have said buddy order parts and ship to his address.
3). Pay said buddy in cash.
4). Install at buddy’s place.
5). “Misconstrue” cash payment as some other service.

Pros: Easy, legal, fairly hassle free.
Cons: Requires buddy, requires complete dominance over family finances, requires lying to your spouse, requires your buddy not blabbing.

Method 2: Slow-Burn Subterfuge
1). Find minor issue with truck and bring it up to spouse.
2). Mention said problem whenever she’s in the truck.
3). Subtlety imply there’s an aftermarket solution for said problem.
4). Mention said aftermarket solution every time she’s in the truck.
5). Mention there’s a handsome and knowledgeable rep (namely me) willing to cut you a deal on aftermarket solution.
6). Purchase part with spouse’s approval.

Pros: No lying (sort of), if part works then she’ll be open to further upgrades.
Cons: Long process, only works on parts that actually improve something, your spouse isn’t a dumbass will figure out what you’re doing AND END YOU.

Method 3: One-Man Stealth Op
1). Order parts using a money order/secret account with squirreled away money
2). Have parts shipped to local hub or freight forwarder.
3). Load up all necessary tools and gear to do the install.
4). Drive out to the middle of nowhere to perform install.
5). Return to place of residence.
6). Hope she doesn’t notice (she will).

Pros: One-man operation for maximum security, may actually get away with it.
Cons: Requires a good amount of planning/foresight, requires control over family finances, requires proper tools/expertise, if a jack or jack stand fails during your clandestine woodland install YOU DIE, she’ll notice as soon as you come back and kick the hell out of you.

Method 4: Ultra-Super Secret Spy Stuff
1). Set up a shell company in the Caymans.
2). “Sell” your truck to said shell company. Buy used economy beater.
3). Tell wife you’re trying to save money on gas.
4). Funnel money you save on gas into shell company profits and hidden garage for your truck.
5). Purchase parts using shell company and ship to said hidden garage.
6). Build awesome truck that you take out for “business trips.”

Pros: UNLIMITED MOD POTENTIAL
Cons: probably illegal in several felonious ways, requires a ton of planning, requires a Cayman lawyer, will probably get you on a watch list, requires driving some sort of crappy beater, your spouse will find out AND END YOU.

I don't care how slick you are. There is no hiding that FlowFX exhaust from your spouse, so long as the truck is parked at your residence. After 4 days of "something is wrong with your truck" I finally had to come clean when she said "you did something, probably put a different muffler on it so you could pull up to some one and ask "you wana run?" and I couldn't stop laughing at her.

 

[HarryD]

Hello Jason,
your responses to stealth purchasing were extremely entertaining!! ?
But, I for one find "Honesty is the Best Policy"

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