How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

[FX4Offroad]

Perfect

 

[FX4Offroad]

Ouch...

 

[T Bone]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Trigganometry]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today." ? ?

 

[AdamHarris]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

 

[Rinn69]

True story.
I was driving my wife (we had been married for a day or 2), my mother-in-law, and my grandmother-in-law in my wife's car. I can't remember the exact reason we were all together, but we were heading south from Rantoul IL (Chanute AFB) toward Champaign-Urbana. I was doing 55 and we passed a cop sitting on the side of the road. He pulled out behind us and followed for about a mile.....and the ladies were giving me a hard time about it. The cop turned on his lights and I pulled over and the girls were really yacking about it now. The cop asked if I knew how fast I was going, and I said 55. Mean while, the ladies were cackling and jabbering about the whole thing... He looked at the car and asked if I had new or different sized tires and I replied not that I know of, and that it's my wife's car. He looked at the sticker on the door jamb, looked at the tires, and asked me to come back to the car with him. He asked if there was any reason why I was going 72 in a 55 zone, and I remembered that my father-in-law had done an engine swap and told the cop about it. He said "I bet that's the problem, so I'll just write you a warning." As he's writing the ticket, he says to me "Ya know, you're taking your life into your own hands".....I was kinda flustered about the whole ordeal, and said "What do you mean?" He replied "Riding in a car with 3 women." I said "That's not the half of it....that's my new wife that I married on Friday, my mother-in-law, and my grandmother-in-law." As he handed me the ticket, he chuckled, "Damn son, you'll be lucky to live thru this. Good Luck".

 

[Langwilliams]

 

[Ranger_Rocks]

 

[T Bone]

 

[AdamHarris]

 

[JaysOnTheEDGE]

 

[dondonbabyraptor]

:’(

 

[Dr. Zaius]