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AzScorpion
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How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]
- Thread starter AzScorpion
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- Watchers 73
Motorpsychology
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2019
- Threads
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- 2,584
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- 8,070
- Location
- Prescott, WI
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Ranger STX SuperCab 4X4, '09 Mariner
- Occupation
- Vagabond
“Mornin’ Lena, is Oly around?”
“No Sven he went into town.”
“Ah, he did. Y’know Lena, I have always admired your lovely bosom. Are they real?
“Well ya sure you betcha, Sven!”
“Tell you what I’ll do Lena. I’ll give you one hundred dollars if I can just see them.”
And Sven put a crisp new $100 bill on the kitchen table. Oly’s birthday was coming up and she really could use some extra cash so she partially undresses for Sven.
“Oh my gracious they are beyond beautiful, Lena! Tell you what I’ll do. I’ll give you another hundred dollars if you finish undressing!”
And Sven put another crisp new $100 dollar bill on the table. Lena thought about Oly’s birthday for a long time and then she disrobes.
“Oh my gracious goodness, you are the most beyond beautiful woman on the planet! Tell you what I’ll do, Lena. I’ll give you three hundred dollars if we can make love.”
Sven laid three more crisp new $100 dollar bills on the table. Lena was now perplexed. She was torn between her love for Oly and her needing more money for his birthday present. She looked at the money on the table, and then at Sven, and then says,
“OK Sven, but this must be our little secret. We can never let Oly find out.”
“I promise, Lena.”
Just when they finish making love, they heard Oly’s car turning into the driveway. They hurriedly dress and Sven sneaks out the back door just when Oly comes in the front.
Oly walks into the kitchen, looks down at the money on the table, then looks at Lena.
“Lena! Was that good for nothing Sven here today?”
Lena’s heart was pounding now.
“Well, ya sure, he was, Oly”
“I thought so. I see he left the $500 he owes me!”
“No Sven he went into town.”
“Ah, he did. Y’know Lena, I have always admired your lovely bosom. Are they real?
“Well ya sure you betcha, Sven!”
“Tell you what I’ll do Lena. I’ll give you one hundred dollars if I can just see them.”
And Sven put a crisp new $100 bill on the kitchen table. Oly’s birthday was coming up and she really could use some extra cash so she partially undresses for Sven.
“Oh my gracious they are beyond beautiful, Lena! Tell you what I’ll do. I’ll give you another hundred dollars if you finish undressing!”
And Sven put another crisp new $100 dollar bill on the table. Lena thought about Oly’s birthday for a long time and then she disrobes.
“Oh my gracious goodness, you are the most beyond beautiful woman on the planet! Tell you what I’ll do, Lena. I’ll give you three hundred dollars if we can make love.”
Sven laid three more crisp new $100 dollar bills on the table. Lena was now perplexed. She was torn between her love for Oly and her needing more money for his birthday present. She looked at the money on the table, and then at Sven, and then says,
“OK Sven, but this must be our little secret. We can never let Oly find out.”
“I promise, Lena.”
Just when they finish making love, they heard Oly’s car turning into the driveway. They hurriedly dress and Sven sneaks out the back door just when Oly comes in the front.
Oly walks into the kitchen, looks down at the money on the table, then looks at Lena.
“Lena! Was that good for nothing Sven here today?”
Lena’s heart was pounding now.
“Well, ya sure, he was, Oly”
“I thought so. I see he left the $500 he owes me!”
Motorpsychology
Well-Known Member
- First Name
- Chris
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2019
- Threads
- 11
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- 8,070
- Location
- Prescott, WI
- Vehicle(s)
- 2021 Ranger STX SuperCab 4X4, '09 Mariner
- Occupation
- Vagabond
AutobotXJ
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- Ray
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My boss sent me this one....
Radioman
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- Kent
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- Sep 18, 2019
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- Retired RF Telecommications Manager
so wrong....
HenryMac
Well-Known Member
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him
out of $10,000,000.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first
place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never
have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million,
he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask
him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the
trigger!"
out of $10,000,000.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first
place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never
have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million,
he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask
him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown
briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the
trigger!"
Trigganometry
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- Rick
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- Dec 4, 2020
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- Engineering
?
Sharky
Well-Known Member
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers & wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers & wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
Sharky
Well-Known Member
Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently touch my finger tips
Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there
Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries
Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet
The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out
Gently touch my finger tips
Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there
Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries
Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet
The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out
