How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

Chris M

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My daughter just bought a house with a milk chute. I had to explain what it was. The house also has a mail chute that goes through from the outsite to the inside.
And my mother is the milkmans daughter. Really, my grandfather delivered milk. ?
Anyone recall Charles Chips? Snackfoods delivered to your door.
I remember the Charles Chips snacks. Back in our little town (Martinsville, VA) one of my high school classmates had a franchise and brought them to our office on a regular routine. Good stuff, as I recall!
Long ago and far away...
 

RedlandRanger

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Tracy Bowman

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My daughter just bought a house with a milk chute. I had to explain what it was. The house also has a mail chute that goes through from the outsite to the inside.
And my mother is the milkmans daughter. Really, my grandfather delivered milk. ?
Anyone recall Charles Chips? Snackfoods delivered to your door.
Yes! Loved Charles Chips!
 

bearrug

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SIGNS OF WEAR
You may be getting older:

When your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both!”

When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

When a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

When going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

When you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

When getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.

When “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.

When an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.
 

Tracy Bowman

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SIGNS OF WEAR
You may be getting older:

When your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both!”

When your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

When a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

When going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

When you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

When getting a little action” means you don’t need to take any fiber today.

When “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.

When an “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: Hilarious, made my day!
 

dtech

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Some dated jokes that are found what is ostensibly a car forum, tfl . And ironically it had been reported that the Tiger was rushing to give Drew Brees a" driving" lesson .


10) Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.


9) What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball
300 yards.

8) Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below
par.

7)
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They were clubbin'

6)
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide
between a wood and an iron.

5) Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of
drivers. They are to be named Elin Woods…"clubs you can beat Tiger with."

4) Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family–his
new name?: Cheetah

3) Hello Mister Woods this is the On Star operator we have detected that an
angry person has put a golf club through your window, we are contacting
Nike for a replacement club.

2) Heck who amongst us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!!

1) Since Tiger drives an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?
 

Sharky

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A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it.

"I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me," he said.

"But that dollar was for Sunday School," his mother replied.

Smiling, the boy said, "I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!"
 

Trigganometry

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Coming from a shop environment we use to have some good ones waiting for the new hires (victims). Some of my favorites were to fetch me the left handed Allen wrenches or the spray can of belt slack. That would be stored in the paint locker somewhere if who ever used it last put it away.

OMG the laughs we use to get and then the faces made when the ruse was up. One kid just wouldn’t give up looking. 3 days later we had to sit him down and tell him the truth. He promptly quit!
 

gfitzge2

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During a machine breakdown in the Ford KTP body shop one of our tool makers asked his young supervisor to get him a left handed drill bit. Ford often hired engineers just out of school and made them maintenance supervisors. Kinda like trial by fire. This one was sure the tool maker was pulling his leg so he refused, not wanting to be the butt of the joke. Turns out he was wanting it to drill out a sheared off bolt and of course there really is such a thing as a left hand drill bit. Of course we never let him forget that. :crackup: :crackup:

If he had been asked to get a lower shunt valve then he would have been the target of a joke. We always tested out new supervisors on that one. :wink:
 
 
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