How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

BDoc

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Never heard of "Snapped".
But I often watch the news.
Much of it starts with "Florida man..."
;)
Happy Tuesday!
There's a local radio station that does a morning show where they do "news" for five minutes - they do a story every morning of Florida shenanigans happening...they often start out with "Florida man..." or "and in Florida..." and always end the story with "Oh Florida"

This was a lot funnier in my head. :crazy:
 

FX4Offroad

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There's a local radio station that does a morning show where they do "news" for five minutes - they do a story every morning of Florida shenanigans happening...they often start out with "Florida man..." or "and in Florida..." and always end the story with "Oh Florida"

This was a lot funnier in my head. :crazy:
Sad part is, its true. We ARE the "hanging chad" state after all.

lol
 
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AzScorpion

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Kids Now A Day.jpg


Lol...This happens to me all the time. Pull the plastic bag from the roll at the produce dept and you can't get the darn thing open. ☹


The Biggest Test Of My Patience.jpg
 

P. A. Schilke

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P. A. Schilke

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1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .

that it always starts tomorrow.



2. Money will buy a fine dog .. . .

but only kindness will make him wag his tail.



3. If you don't have a sense of humor . . .

you probably don't have any sense at all.



4. Seat belts are not as confining . . .

as wheelchairs.



5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .

when you're in deep water.



6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of

the dark . .

to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?



7. Business conventions are important . . .

because they demonstrate how many people a company can

operate without.



8. Why is it that at class reunions . . .

you feel younger than everyone else looks?



9. Scratch a cat (or dog) . . ..

and you will have a permanent job.



10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy

(or girl) . . ..

who wants to buy a car.



11. There are no new sins . . ..

the old ones just get more publicity.



12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong

number at 4 a.m. . ..

like, it could be the right number.



13. No one ever says "It's only a game" . . .

when their team is winning.



14. I've reached the age where . . .

'happy hour' is a nap.



15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . .

there's no way you're going to like it.



16. The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .

not everybody has the same size bucket.



17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .

we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)



18. Money can't buy happiness .. . .

but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than

in a Yugo.



19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint . . .

you're probably dead.



20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't

mind . . ..

and the ones that mind don't matter.



21. Life isn't tied with a bow .. . .

but it's still a gift.
 
 
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