How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

[Trigganometry]

Never know what you might find on the road down in Texas these days! ? Good thing we got collision warning and active breaking!

 

[Sharky]

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... Only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

 

[FX4Offroad]

.

 

[BoilerMike]

I took my seven year old daughter to work today. She walked into the office and started crying “What’s wrong”? we all asked, obviously worried. Between sobs she answers, “Where are all those clowns you said you worked with”?

 

[BoilerMike]

 

[ROBERTECOX]

Finally...the answer to that age-old question.....

https://apnews.com/article/alaska-woman-outhouse-bear-attack-61a23fa15190c00e17a07bc152f9dabb

 

[DVSCYCLES]

When you trust Alexa too much.
https://www.traegerforum.com/data/video/4/4288-82587d630be0076093a0cbfca5129be9.mp4

 

[Sharky]

get up, get ready & go to school !

Mom was trying to get her son to get out of bed and get ready for school.

"I am not going to school!" the son responded defiantly.

"Why not?" Mom wanted to know.

"Well, first of all I hate school and second of all, the kids all hate me!!" was the answer.

"Son, that's not good reasons.. you will have to get up and ready for school!" Mom replied.

"Well, give me two good reasons why I should," the son said.

"Well," Mom said quietly, "First of all you are 52 years old and second of all...You are the Principal."

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Busted Bear!

 

[Fawnbuster]

Years ago,after a 12 hour dayshift for the Sheriff's office, I stopped on my way home (in uniform) at the grocery to grab milk. A little boy seated in the cart in front of me was checking out all the shiny pins and buttons on my class A uniform, he asked me what some of them where for etc while his mom was putting groceries on the conveyor. She was rummaging thru her purse for cash, scratching coins from the bottom of her purse. The boy was watching her, then turned to me and said "Daddy took mommas credit cards" Mom froze and cringed, peered out of the corner of her eye hoping he wouldn't say anymore. I said okay...and he said " yeah, daddy said mommy can't manage money worth a shit so if she can't pay cash she can't have it" Mom promptly looked at me all red faced and said "Sorry", left her groceries on the conveyor and pulled the cart with the boy out to the parking lot.

 

[Doc]

Years ago,after a 12 hour dayshift for the Sheriff's office, I stopped on my way home (in uniform) at the grocery to grab milk. A little boy seated in the cart in front of me was checking out all the shiny pins and buttons on my class A uniform, he asked me what some of them where for etc while his mom was putting groceries on the conveyor. She was rummaging thru her purse for cash, scratching coins from the bottom of her purse. The boy was watching her, then turned to me and said "Daddy took mommas credit cards" Mom froze and cringed, peered out of the corner of her eye hoping he wouldn't say anymore. I said okay...and he said " yeah, daddy said mommy can't manage money worth a shit so if she can't pay cash she can't have it" Mom promptly looked at me all red faced and said "Sorry", left her groceries on the conveyor and pulled the cart with the boy out to the parking lot.

AWW ..

 

[T Bone]

i am sorry, what am i missing about this being funny, i am dense so be kind.

 

[FoD]

 

[Chris M]

i am sorry, what am i missing about this being funny, i am dense so be kind.

"Daddy says mommy can't manage money worth a shit..." from a little boy sitting in the cart...

 

[Fawnbuster]

i am sorry, what am i missing about this being funny, i am dense so be kind.

She wasn't broke she had more than enough money to pay and then some, she was just embarrassed . One never knows what a kid will say when they are being honest. Hence some of the jokes others previously posted about kids saying things. Wasn't making fun of her, he was just jabbering