How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

Marpater

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What do truck drivers do when they get too old to have an erection?

Get a new Kenworth.......wait......gets a new Ford....wait...... ah crap I can't remember

There I fixed it......
 
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Chris M

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Marpater

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A German truck driver is sitting in a Liverpool bar mouthing off about how lazy the British are.

He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days."

A drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters, so what, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in Hamburg and make it back to Liverpool the same day!'

German man, gives a sarcastic laugh and replies 'Oh yeah old man, what rig were you driving?'

Old fella replies ' a Lancaster Bomber!!'
 

Marpater

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They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?


A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her husband and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The husband says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
 

Figarou

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A German truck driver is sitting in a Liverpool bar mouthing off about how lazy the British are.

He says 'I drive my truck from Hamburg to Liverpool via Holland/Belgium over to the UK and up to Liverpool, drops his load off and back to Hamburg in under 2 days."

A drunk old scouse man can't help but hear him and mutters, so what, I used to pick my load up in Liverpool, drop it off in Hamburg and make it back to Liverpool the same day!'

German man, gives a sarcastic laugh and replies 'Oh yeah old man, what rig were you driving?'

Old fella replies ' a Lancaster Bomber!!'
A trucker stops for a red light one day and notices a blonde in the car behind. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says to him, “Hi, my name’s Julie and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load.”

The trucker just ignores her, raises the window and proceeds down the street as the light changes. A short while later he has to stop for another red light. The blonde in the car is still behind him. Again, she jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.

As if they’ve never spoken before, the blonde says brightly, “Hi my name’s Julie, and I thought you should know you’re losing some of your load!”

The trucker shakes his head but apart from this he ignores her again. He raises the window and drives on as the red light changes.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

At the fourth red light the trucker jumps out of his truck, and runs back to the blonde’s car. He knocks on the window and she lowers it.

The trucker says, “Hi, my name’s Steve, it’s winter in Canada, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
 
 
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