How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

[Bob902]

Damn you. Now I will be singing that all day?

 

[Radioman]

 

[Dr. Zaius]

Damn you ewe. Now I will be singing that all day?

FTFY

 

[Radioman]

 

[LaBalbe]

Somebody put a LOT of thought into just how much they could get away with....

 

[Langwilliams]

I picked up two ladies in Thailand. When I got back to the hotel I found I won the lottery:

SIX MATCHING BALLS

 

[LaBalbe]

 

[LaBalbe]

I just received this from a Nigerian prince!!!

 

[P. A. Schilke]

Hi Kent,

This reminds me of the way Las Vegas McCarrin was in the mid 1980s...six hour in line to get through the Wackenhut Security check point. I was so infuriated by this that I wrote the Manager of the air port that my staff would not be flying through LV anymore. We would fly to Phoenix and catch a puddle jumper to Havasu to get to the AZ proving grounds. And I made it stick... Sent the letter to major Casinos as well as Vegas was always a playground stop on the way to the proving grounds. Probably like peeing in the ocean but there was no call for this stupid level of service.

Best,
Phil

 

[LaBalbe]

"How much truck could a red truck, truck...."

 

[LaBalbe]

When your car is allergic to insects, and you take it for a drive during mosquito season...

 

[Synfulz]

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied, "I want to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else", said the madam.

He replied, "No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a
visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to
Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she
was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5,000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went
upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but
he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man, "No one has ever been with me
three nights in a row. Where are you from?"

The man replied, " Nova Scotia."
"Really," she said. "I have family in Nova Scotia ."

"I know," the man said. "Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She
asked me to give you your $15,000.00 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer!

Best one I have read.

 

[Radioman]

Hi Kent,

This reminds me of the way Las Vegas McCarrin was in the mid 1980s...six hour in line to get through the Wackenhut Security check point. I was so infuriated by this that I wrote the Manager of the air port that my staff would not be flying through LV anymore. We would fly to Phoenix and catch a puddle jumper to Havasu to get to the AZ proving grounds. And I made it stick... Sent the letter to major Casinos as well as Vegas was always a playground stop on the way to the proving grounds. Probably like peeing in the ocean but there was no call for this stupid level of service.

Best,
Phil

Great story Phil.

 

[BS67]

 

[BS67]