How about some Jokes [Admin: No Covid or Politics!]

[levimac`]

Fitting, for today.

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[Msfitoy]

For the Engineers in the 5G Crew....

Understanding Engineers – One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


Understanding Engineers – Two
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers – Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


Understanding Engineers – Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons

Civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers – Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


Understanding Engineers – Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"


Understanding Engineers – Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers – Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

I have a bachelor's of art degree and my dad thought I was going to be serving fries...he didn't know that my automotive design degree is labeled the same as the starving painter

 

[srgredranger]

I can relate to the old jokes as I was class of 86

 

[BDoc]

Well, I scored 17 so I guess I'm Older Than Dirt.

Boy I remember growing up and getting drunk on Boone's Farm Tickle Pink wine. lol

10 out of the 17 - so, am I "gettin' there" or am I "older than dirt"?

@Anthony Class of '90 here also.

 

[AzScorpion]

10 out of the 17 - so, am I "gettin' there" or am I "older than dirt"?

@Anthony Class of '90 here also.

You're almost there...You still got a few more years. lol

 

[BDoc]

You're almost there...You still got a few more years. lol

Was worried for a minute...lol

 

[TKDMasterV]

 

[BDoc]

Truck Gang!

 

[AirborneRanger]

I can relate to the old jokes as I was class of 86

I was born in 86

 

[AzScorpion]

I was born in 86

I started my business in December of '86. Damn I'm getting old!

 

[P. A. Schilke]

I started my business in December of '86. Damn I'm getting old!

Hi Dave,

And I was only 8 years away from retirement! Never regretted retiring at age 53 and being able to enjoy a life that may be equal to the 30 years at Ford or maybe a few more... Given the chance...retire as early as possible. Sad to say I had engineers working for me that left in a box, never being able to enjoy retirement...All the best to you!

Best,
Phil Schilke
Ranger Vehicle Engineering
Ford Motor Co. Retired

 

[Cape Cruiser]

Hi Dave,

And I was only 8 years away from retirement! Never regretted retiring at age 53 and being able to enjoy a life that may be equal to the 30 years at Ford or maybe a few more... Given the chance...retire as early as possible. Sad to say I had engineers working for me that left in a box, never being able to enjoy retirement...All the best to you!

Best,
Phil Schilke
Ranger Vehicle Engineering
Ford Motor Co. Retired

Amen to that Phil ! I retired at 51 and I dont know how I had time to work! I have volunteered my mechanic skills for the last 11 years to keep all the neighborhood toys and equipment up and running. I too had mechanics under me that left in a box.

 

[AzScorpion]

That's one way to try and get out of a speeding ticket. lol

 

[Msfitoy]

That's one way to try and get out of a speeding ticket. lol

No Way! I'm going to make me a sign

 

[AzScorpion]